Run No: 436 - 6 Oct 07 - In Onor of TMH3 Hash #1 - Chinese Gardens to the Water Tank

Hash #436

From the Womb of the TMH3 In Onor of TMH3 Hash #1 

In the beginning there was light, and it was good.  

Then there was beer, and it was better.  

Then there was the Hash, and life was complete....and drunk.

The Taipa Macau Hash House Harriers was founded 450 weeks ago, in June 1998.  There was at least one preceeding
 hash in Macau (as evidenced by the still active member, Rebecca), but this was the first "Taipa Macau Hash House Harriers".  And it was from the Chinese Gardens south of Park & Shop in Taipa where this newborn hash took its first drunken steps.  Quickly the hash did mature and at some point during it's rebellious teenage years, defected from home to hang with the hooligans, halfminds, and other riff-raff that that hash's parents didn't approve of down at the Irish Bar.  While the parent Chinese Gardens might of hung their head in shame, the TMH3 stood proud in it's new home it made for itself and has thrived through times thick and thin in the last 112 months to become the dis-organization it is today.

Last Sunday, just like a university student in its 6 year at school, the hash came home for a homecooked meal, dropped off its dirty laundry, begged for some beer money, spread some flour around, and then like that it was off again, to return in another 9 years as a surly 30-something year old to live at home in its parents' basement.

All this brings us to Hash #436 of the TMH3.  The Hares, Nancy Boy and Mini Me, saw it fit to honor the June Anniversary of the October...and as such set A at The Chinese Gardens* (apparently it had been long enough for the authorities to forget about us and the restraining orders to expire).  

(*it should be noted that if took a severe interrogation of said hares at circle to elicit what part of trail was honoring the founding of the took a downdown and 3 minutes of thinking to come up with the answer)

Anyways the pack assembled at the Chinese Gardens with Lead Belly nursing a tallboy Pocari wrapped in a white plastic could only conclude either

A)  He couldn't spare the time to get the can out of the bag before drinking
B)  He was ashamed to be drinking a non-alcoholic drink at the hash
C)  He was brown bagging a beer and was going to pour one out for his homeys
or D)  He was so hungover from the night before that he really didn't care (or notice)

The Hares arrived and wrote out the first Hare Lie of the day by writing a three symbol chalk talk, when there were 7 on trail...luckily there were no virgins on trail that day (or if there were, they got confused with all the new symbols on trail and perished in the shiggy..)  However, 008 made a return showing in his first hash since this halfmind author has been with the TMH3.  It's great to see returnees to the hash and he later surprisingly proved that he can chug Tsing Tao better than any 14 year old in Macau.

Also returning was Hasher Tracy (Stacy?) for her second hash ever after making her virgin showing at Hash #433 with the KH3  (hey that rhymes!).  A 12 year old boy in Pirate garb showed up...oh wait...scratch that...Betty shaved this week and arrived at trail clean shaven and sans eye patch, but still rocking the bandana.
  It was also noted that there were several harriettes in general with the final tally before heading out being 8 harriettes to 11 hashers, a great showing by the ladies!  Just before taking off, Sheik Mimi arrived and proceeded to tramp through the carefully laid chalk talk and sit on the base of a sign before performing some field medicine and
on his knee and then wrappinging it in a festive blue tape that was tight enough to make an S&M fan smile.  Meanwhile the fierce Park Security Guard stood a short distance away eyeing this motley crew and glaring disapprovingly.

Finally the hares returned from what could not be denied as a prelaid trail* (*remember this note for later).  And it appeared that Nancy Boy's plastic bag was quite excited to be out and about and in fact was happy to see us as it was sporting a 3" red protrusion from the side of the bag...

After cautious questioning, it was revealed that the hares needed haring aids (get it?!) to lay trail and had to use the red funnel to fill their harital aids (aha, two in one sentence!).  There was a darkening of the skies and the TMH3 Religious Advisor Betty swooned as there was a great disturbance in Hashing force when this truth was revealed.  Former GM, St Peter stepped to his aid and together they set off down the sidewalk to remedy this hashing religion blasphemy and to cleanse the hash religion of this evil.

The Hares took off as they admitted to not only prelaying, but to not laying the initial part of trail so as not to allow
the Short Cutting Bastards to recon their trail.

The walkers set off in an Westerly direction and were soon followed by the Runners and the trail was well laid and the pack was crusing at a comfortable pace in the late afternoon heat.  They followed trail across the large fountain roundabout in the center of Taipa and were searching for trail that was laid through the alley when a glimmer of light caught the eye of Cunter Ass Thompson....that glimmer was the glistening sweat on the leg hair of one of the Hares, Nancy Boy!  With the new target acquired, trail was quickly forgotten and Cunter set out ON HARE and quickly snared the hare....on a prelaid trail.  Unfortunately much like the cat who finally caught the 20 kilo pheasant in the yard...damned if Cunter knew what to do with him.  So he dumped his water bottle on the hares' head and headed out ONON back on trail.

Meanwhile the pack had worked its way to just East of the Irish Bar and after working out a well laid check, headed North through the alley and across the street where the hares spent quite a bit of time laying another excellent checka and deep CB.  True trail continued West and headed up the (not-so) Little Taipa Hill access trail and then laid an great open check on the road above with false trails both ways on the road and finally Maid in Macau spotted true trail in virgin shiggy straight on continuing up the hill.  The pack continued up the hill with Maid in Macau leading the way as it continued up up up through the abandoned housing development where the Triad captives waved to us from the radiators they were chained to.  Suddenly, Betty was assaulted by an exploding Taliban fungi that was at his feet as it screamed "I regret nothing!" and proceeded to vaporize at Betty's feet.  This elicited a four letter word from Betty who hopped over it and then continued on trail unphased, yet bitter against the unprovoked assault. Betty shook a resiliant fist back at the mushroom and blamed himself for leaving his cutlass and scabbard back on his Pirate ship.  Finally the pack emerged at a R/W split around the hill and the runners set off following the dirt trail back around to the North and finally arrived at large white tower like structure (I think I saw a Masonic symbol on it?) There was another well laid check with CB's all around the logical directions and it took a while to find true trail straight up through the shiggy following the pipe line.  

This was a great addition to trail.  Although I understand this was not virgin territory for the TMH3, nobody had been there for a while as there was decent plant growth and enough prickers to score some hash blood on trail.  Finally the pipeline spit the pack out on the other side of the hill where the pack added to the erosion by tramping through the anti-erosion tree plantings and was back on the dirt path and headed down the stairs and back to civilization to the park just Northwest of of Crown where we found the other, non-snared, hare Mini Me lounging on the bench with a glorious beer check.  OnOnor to the Hares, a beer check is always a great addition to trail.  It would also be a good time to mention that the trail was very well laid out and laid by the hares, ample marks, not too much, not too little, made the pack work at the checks, but once they were on trail, they were kept on trail.  Good on ya hares.

Anyways, back to trail, we finished our beverages and snapped back to reality as we headed to crown where apparently they have no appreciation for flour on the sidewalk as only the ghost of a check remained.  Luckily, The Dread Pirate Betty had brought his spyglass with him and had spotted chalk off the port side and the new rejoined pack followed him down through the junkyard, through the dump and around to the blind suicide corner roundabout where like a good game of frogger, the pack made it across the road and through the side entrance into the graveyard where we wound around the graves like a game of Q*bert and emerged triumphant at the top exit of the graveyard.  As trail headed up the hill, another well laid check was placed with not one, but two CBs' at the remaining two exits from the graveyard...true trail was eventually found across the street and up the steps through graveyard #2 of the day.  Trail continued East and trundling up the hill and through a the third graveyard before another R/W split the took the runners up the old/abandoned trail that met up with the trail that circumnavigates the large Taipa hill.  The pack soon found itself at an open check with trail either way, and steps both up and down.  It turned out that true to the common theme of the day, the hares wanted to get us higher than a lovechild at Woodstock and took us ON UP to the weather station with such mocking encouraging words written on trail in flour as "HO HO HO" and "HA HA HA".

Eventually, just like that lovechild in 1971, The pack come down off the high and descended back down to the circumnavigating trail and continued on around to end on top of the watertank about the old Taipa bay.  There a specatacular sunset was taken in while being serenaded by the breakers working over at City of Dreams.  The pack was tempted to shout words of encouragment to Constant Wanker who was absent from the hash that day.

There was some general social drinking as the pack and hares came in.  Finally circle was called and after Grandad located his lost drinking vessel for the third time that evening, the Religious Advisor and ex GM supercombo of Betty and St Peter revealed the confiscated hash blashphemy of the hare's harital aid, the funnel and shown that like a butterfly it had been reborn into a new and beautiful hash life...not to mention 10 times more functional.  Yes, the RA brought forth the TMH3 Beer Bong and held it aloft to the heavens as it glowed in the evening light.  It was quickly christened by both said saviors of the TMH3 and then, sadly, was not seen for the rest of the night (besides fishy fingers doing her best impression of an elly-phant through it).  It is decided that this new religious vessel of the TMH3 will be a permanent fixture and used for the most deserving down downs....To which this halfmind says ON ON to that!  (I wonder what drag races of the Hash Beer Bong versus the plank would be like? hmm......)

Down downs were doled across the board and the hares were made to have a couple...okay more than a couple drinks and the hash was brought to a close as people had to sober up in time to get to the bar to drink and watch rugby.

On - Until next week in Henquin where we ask the question again: Is the grass greener and the Beer colder on the other side?  - On

Cunter Ass Thompson

PS - Our illustrious Hash Webmeister, Nancy's Boys writings and creations were ported over this week to a newly facelifted Macau Hash website...

check it out and set your bookmarks to  (or just works too...we're making it easy to type with one hand while your drinking you beer) will be around for a long time and you can see:

- past Hash Trash's,
- Nancy Boy's Haring Guide,
- Maps of Macau
- Hash Flash Mini Me's hashography
- HareRaiser Scooter Babe's Receding Hareline
- Grandad & Nancy Boy's TMH3 Hall of Fame Hash Roster
- and hopefully much more here very soon (if you think of something the site is needing...let Nancy Boy know...then make him drink!


Seeing that this Hash Flash is coming out on Friday, and oldie but still a baddie seems appropriate:

 There was a snake called Nate. His purpose in life was to stay in the
desert and guard the lever. This lever was no ordinary lever. It was the
lever that if moved would destroy the world. Nate took his job very
seriously. He let nothing get close to the lever.

One day off in the distance he saw a cloud of dust. He kept his eye on it
because he was guarding the lever. The dust cloud continued to move
closer to the lever. Nate saw that it was a huge boulder and it was
heading straight for the lever!

Nate thought about what he could do to save the world. He decided if he
could get in front of the boulder he could deflect it and it would miss
the lever. Nate slithered quickly to intersect the boulder. The boulder
ran over Nate, but it was, in fact, deflected, leaving history to
conclude that it was better Nate than lever.

And now for some humor that is actually funny....

 A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a man runs up him saying "That's the most amazing act I've ever seen! I'm an agent you gotta sell him to me, I'll make that Frog famous!" The man offers him £100,000 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale."

The man increases the offer to £250,000 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to £500,000 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere £500,000!"

"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "That frog was alright...But the rat's a hell of a ventriloquist."

{flickr4j_set id="72157602384401677"}