Hash No: 443 - 24 NOV 07 - Cheok Van Beach A2A

Hash #443
Hares St Peter and Betty (RA)
Report Sheik MeMe


What a beautiful time of year for running! Heard on several occasions during this run #443 episode of this motley half silent half singing Hash (bastards!).


And what about Ben and his lovely potential Harriett that turned up for the Shithouses birthday……….You bastards scared them off!! Never to be seen again, not even willing to stay for the OnOn-OnOn, which was Shithouses 50th Birthday celebration, so that is how much of an impression he made on them.

Back to run #443....

....where the hares had the group assemble at Cheoc Van Beach of which Cunter Ass Thompson received $15 change out of $100 for the cab ride over and still was seen running the last two kilometres to the A Site!

At about lunch time the hares were seen relaxing at a local restaurant in the vicinity of the A Site, behind dark shades, consuming exotic cuisine whilst prolonging the inevitable. Soon after lunch, with the self inflicted illness form earlier this same morning subsiding, they set out to bamboozle the motley pack that would assemble close by at the designated hour.


The issues that the hares had, and discovered by our hare spies (Yes, Cunter Ass Thompson has that much time on his hands), was the no flour scenario and was soon after spotted at the local pharmacy trying to purchase flower whilst lining up with a machete in hand! It was later revealed that our hapless hares were even considering the use of shampoo or conditioner to lay trail, which would very possibly be the first in hash history!



Several sad and sorry faces appeared at or around 1600 hours. Not the least being Titianna moaning about Bacardi and something else and maybe I shouldn’t have and what was his name etc etc. And Roger And Out, well a walking brain surgeon this hasher is! Sitting in an economy seat for 28 hours so he can come to a Saturday hash and he looked like shit! The irony is that he cant cum to the Saturday hash when it is 5 minutes from home and he is in town! Then there was the hapless Sheik MeMe that has his wake up alarm set for 3:30 pm every Saturday afternoon!


At the designated hour, still no GM amongst us and the responsibility fell to the hares to get us on the way. Not before some ghost stories containing the words cliffs and stay together and that horrible St Peter evil snigger, that we have all grown to fear, knowing the distorted kiwi mind behind such devious scheming. The walkers and potential walkers were warned not to follow the doomed mob of FRB’s, and be diligent to stay on the walkers trail.


Away we went meandering up the first hill with conversations echoing of the night before and the horrible working week, which frankly no one was really paying attentions to these flapping gums, and the real hashes like Mini Me, Colonic Irritation, Hooker No Sing, Sheik MeMe and Nancy Boy were purely focused on the task ahead.


Right at the top and those devious hares took us along for eight hundred meters or so at the point that the road took a left bend and the smart hashers cut the corner being superior hashing skills, however the on on marks were to the far right and easily missed and very crafty by the hares.


Up up into some beautiful virgin territory complete with hidden elephant traps, impassable cuttings and unscaleable hills. Pozstiferous and Cunter Ass Thompson were taking it very seriously and refusing to wait for the fearful hashes that had just undertaken an earthshattering experience, having viewed for the first time a monument with the two hash feet and toes inlaid in marble and pointing toward AMa.

It is rumoured that this monument was laid in honour of all past GM’s and RA’s and silently funded by Bolton Bollox and the Captain. St Peter incidentally was sure to put a check around same being the former GM.


This was the last that we saw of Shithouse! He was a sorry sight, having not heeded the warnings of the Hares, he disappeared into shortcutting bliss!


Meanwhile, Roger and Out was entertaining the Harriett’s on the stroll, in a delirium of jet lag, making passes at Fishy Fingers and Hooker No Sing thinking it was Made in Macau. Four days away, travel halfway around the world and back and you would think this hasher was deprived of sex for two weeks!


The GM, now this is a story, turns up twenty minutes late, falls out of the vehicle having found trail (problem was he was driving), Scooter Babe recovers the vehicle before finding Betty’s treacherous trail with the vehicle and the GM was off, in the wrong direction! GM was later heard boasting of following trail, yeh right, 20 minites behind and a short cut at the end that got you home before the FRB’s and front walkers.


Talking of walkers, our very own LeadBelly could not be with us today as he was determined to battle a typhoon in the Philippines to find sex!


And of course Glennfedidich who was battling himself at home for the same outcome!


The run by the way, went back up the hill after having cum down and Cunter Ass Thompson was a distant memory as the hashes pounded on with vigilance and determination. Nancy Boy, determined to make the cover of some Welsh pensioner monthly publication as a figure of an outstandingly health, a human gorilla, galloped relentlessly toward the bucket, ignoring the views of our fair land.


A group of hashes were seen at a pseudo drink stop overlooking Coloane Village and some were seen lingering for quite some time and they were Bettys Boobs, Colonic Irritation, Titianna, Peztifirious, Mimi Me, Jumping Balls little sister and Sheik MeMe. As is Mini Me’s custom, “do you mind if I have some” of whatever it is, and this time it was Peztiferious’s well managed water bottle, at which time Mini Me managed to back wash into the bottle to the horror of our Hong Kong / Canadian hasher mate! No one else was really surprised!


All back at the bucket and a cold breeze she was a blowing. After the harrowing stories of trail and every piece of windbreak clothing emptied from the vehicles present, the circle was called by the GM.


The GM, in his wisdom had moved the circle from the safety of the footpath to the middle of the road on a bend, further up the street, however conveniently located next to the trash cans, which is possibly a reflection of his youth, but still in the eye of the brutal breeze.


Songs were sung, beers were drunk and another hasher was born. We were lucky enough to have the presence of our RA Betty, who undertook the naming ceremony. This wonderful Harriett whose is now named NobGobbler. She was quite horrified to receive such a name, expecting something like The Captain, however we are sure she will grow into it.


Social drinking was called and there where further singing lessons that were undertaken in a pseudo circle lead by our very own songmaster Cunter Ass Thompson. Scooter Babe was heard telling stories of harrowing feats in the mountains of Taiwan, where she escaped death, not once but up to forty times! The GM told of having his name changed several times in the past six weeks to thwart the scrutineering eyes of the Macau public service and now, on his Macau drivers licence, he is known as Pudding OKarn.

On On



Sheik MeMe

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