Hash 463 12.4.08 : Hash, Beer & BBQ - Life is Good! : Norman's, Hac Sa

Hares: Roger & Out; Maid in Macau            Scribe: Cunter Ass Thompson

It was an overcast spring Macau Day yet still warm and moist, it's just the way lady Macau is, as the pack made it's way to the Box down at Norman's. Upon my arrival, I walked into the Norman's courtyard/park area and was blinded by the glare and thought I had stumbled into a rare Macau blizzard as it was white as far as the eye could see. As my eyes adjusted I could make out it was actually a good 50-75 white people there in the courtyard...I heard my name being called by St Peter who was hiding in the corner with a handful of other early comers. I went to shake St Peter's hand on the best job of hash recuiting ever when he admitted that they actually weren't here for the hash...I was still overcome by sheer whiteness in the park...it must have been Macau Guilo Day 2008.

The pack dribbled in having begun the long road to recovery after a good friday night in Macau. And Wan Cum (hash candidate of the year for a new name) came back out making it 2 in a row, good on her! Betty and Betty's Boobs (who again hashed again carrying the mystery guest hasher, brava!) were kept engaged in by Jumping Balls who has rip-roaring ready to hash and in the down time before it was hashers away - apparently had become a hash child prodigy and was already displaying outstanding hash behavior of a 16 year old, not a 6 year old, as he chased down the lovely ladies driving the nice cars in Macau...just unfortunately was choosing to do it in the middle street....but an A for effort, just room to work on the execution...don't worry JB, you have 10 years to perfect those lines to chase the ladies and the ensuing escapades. But the silver lining is that his escapades of both future and present are a good thing, why you might ask is playing in the middle of the road a good thing? Well, as any parent can attest, such delightful activities drive Betty & BB crazy which in turn make them want to drink more, which in turn brings them to the hash, so see, it is a good thing!

Nasiturd and Scooterbabe pulled into their designated parking space practically curbside and Nasi began inspection of the hash drinks.

Nasiturd quickly discerned that these bottles didn't have enough alcohol in them for him and kept digging

One of the two Hares, Roger & Out then appeared, looking slightly knackered but none the worse for wear having just come in from prelaying trail.

As the coolers were filled we prepared to set off and I took the trash cardboard around the corner to the dumpsters alongside Normans where I spied two Guilos in rather racist looking Nike gear either lost or ducking into the alley for a quickie (or both). A few minutes later they came wandering back out and asked "Are you the Hash House Harriers?" Why yes, yes we are! Turns out this was Hasher Craig and Hasher Cindy who has lived here in Macau for *OVER A YEAR* and know St Peter and it was just now that St Peter got them to come out...shame on St Peter shame... But a Virgin is a Virgin none the less and two are even better!

Roger and Out then said may the hash gods have mercy on your soles and gave them an informal hash welcome (everyone knows a formal hash welcome involves copious amounts of alcohol, not to worry though dear reader,this came later).

With everyone situated, Roger and Out lead a very fine chalktalk that has been a missing part of the TMH3 hash for a fair bit, bravo to the hare for bringing it back.

Hasher Craig and Hasher Cindy took notes, asked questions, and had a general glimmer of "What the heck did we get into" in their eyes, but none the less nodded their heads and smiled whilst silently planning revenge on St Peter for whatever the heck this thing was he got them into.

Jumping Balls meanwhile was still working hard on picking up the Macau Ladies, he tried to impress them by Moonwalking through the circle...no word yet on how many phone numbers he got....

Betty said enough of this, and the venerable RA called out Pack away in the hopes that Jumping Balls would burn off all this energy on trail....which he promptly did 300 meters later and Betty carried him the rest of trail.

Betty did intercept a last minute hash ringer though just as we set off...

Much like trying to lasso and capture a wild stallion, this guy is the fellow who speeds past Nga Tim's everytime the hash is down there, not stopping to chat/drink/hash at all, and somehow Betty was able to coax him into hashing! Much like a horsewhisper, Betty must a whispered the right thing in his ear as he came on trail for a full 200 meters before something spooked him and off he ran, leaving the hash behind with the excuse about something about dinner with beautiful women....so we bid farewell to the rogue hasher, although I thought I could swear seeing the silouhette of him as he stood on top of the Ama Statue on top of the hill moments later before trotting over the hillside...but my sober eyes could have been playing tricks on me.

Trail headed south before turning West up the road where the pack apparently has already hungry and was tempted to stake out the dumpster in the hopes of scoring some leftovers

Meanwhile Nasi FRB'ed it on trail albeit looking perplexed as he muttered to himself "who put all these steps here???"

Virgin Craig and Virgin Cindy came ready for hashing and were hot on Nasi's heels as they tore up the hill, already looking far too fit to be hashers...

As we continued on trail, I lost sight of Nasiturd, wondered where did he go? But I could see that I was on true trail and since starting to write these HashFlatRash (Hash Flash + Hash Trash = Hash FlatRash) last week, figured it would be a good opportunity to snap some pics of what hashing in Macau looks like (even if the weather made it resemble more of a Gorillas in The Mist). So I'll interject those pics in here for your enjoyment as well (it also kinda tells you where trail was too :) ):

As I was busy playing Ansel Adams, around the corner come our Virgins having either tossed Nasi over the cliffside, or are just that fast.

Moments after this picture was taken , Virgin Cindy hurdled over the heads of the couple in front of her.

Following true trail around the rocks and up the stairs, I saw a floating head waiting for me at the top of stairs..aha, It was Nasiturd! While I has happy to see he had not been thrown over any cliff, he told me that he SCB'd his way over as he was, and I quote "Not Going to Go Down"...Sorry Scooterbabe (oh yeah and he also mentioned something about never losing highground, but that's nearly the comical fodder as the first statement).

So we continued on asphalt S/SE around the bottom of Coloane, past Cheok Van turnoff and Nasi found himself in Coloane Rushhour...that's two cars and two bicycles on the road at the same time

At this point, true trail just nipped the granitetop entrance to the park on the right before hurdling the hedge and back on the road as the gardner sat next to it, watching and crying. True trail then continued on the road as the hare had marked it in *green* chalk. Apparently for the Red/Green colorblind in our hash as well as various others this caused problems, because instead of following true trail around the road to the shiggy behind the bus stop, they went back to last mark, the huge flour arrow at the picnic area and decided that the arrow was just a suggestion and headed up the stairs which *purportedly* had flour on them...maybe the hare was just that devious? Or perhaps it was Nasi and Colonic's way of hazing the two Virgins who were now caught up with them by taking them up the stairs and hoping their nievete would make them not question it.

The rest of the pack continued on true trail up the shiggyrific path behind the bus stop as seen in this fine photographic example of some great Macau shiggy:

In was in this shiggy that I came across some great hash treasure on trail, for lying there in the brush was Nasiturd's hash pride that he had misplaced last time we were on this trail, for it you remember dear reader, it was the Taichung Hash Run where armed with Machete, Nasi laid trail to a lovely deadend (and subsequent snaring), I put the newly found treasure in my pocket and made sure it was returned to Nasi in circle once he paid it's ransom in beer.

At the top of the shiggy, true trail was indicated N/NE by the large on on arrow and I continued around, wondering where Nasi and gang were having been quite vocal myself on the On Ons for the sake of the virgins. Little did I know they were on a SCB trail coming from who knows where, but ended up backwards on the walker's trail and quote "thought it was funny the arrows were drawn in the wrong direction" :)

I chugged along, stopping to snap a few more pics of the very green and hazy Coloane like a good little hash flash:

The hare did reveal on his marking that he apparently never learned that the number 3 comes between 1,2 and 4

Another fine and unavoidable on Coloane feature is the "You Are Here" maps at any major intersection...defintely something unique about the TMH3.

This particular 2 way check was at the 5 corners intersection above the Police Station. It was while checking this out that I ran into Nasi and gang and had a great 3 minute discussion on where true trail was, the geography of Coloane, and the meaning of life much to the enjoyment of the virgins. Finally we set off, reunited, and solved the check, the answer was up. Oh boy was it up.

We popped out on top of the hill and hit the asphalt again as we passed through the random construction storage site that never seems to change and then turned and proceeded on the road around past the monastary/temple and up to see our favorite lady, Miss A-ma her self. Offering a long the ways, many more Hash Flash opportunities, some of these are downright hash postcard worthy if I do say so myself...

Then the pack realized we were being tricked into another hill which elicited much wailing and gnashing of teeth

Then out of the mist, that lovely alabaster lady appeared,

we said "hallo!" and then chugged to otherside to reap the reward of the best thing about coming to the A-Ma statue...there is no way the hare can make you run uphill from statue, huzzah!

we bounced down the stairs, checked out the checks a tad before find they continued on straight North down the the resevoir where the hare did a nice detour I hadn't seen before and took us through the edge of the garden....it was downright pretty and I think it made the Virgins actually think we might be a civilized bunch (ha!)

True trail then went down the switchback ramps, onto the pavement and north just a short 30 meter jaunt (only made difficult by the fact that the hares' marks had been parked on and required stooping around cars looking like we were slashing tires and siphoning gas)

True trail led down the steps and incline into the already booming BBQ area were the hare almost passed his spelling exam, maybe next year...

We then followed trail on in, Nasi and Colonic leaving the virgins behind, which based on their running earlier, I find hard to believe, when asked, Nasi said they had opted to run on the beach. This was puzzling yet sounded like a stellar hash flash opportunity. Sadly, I was too slow/they were two quick as they appeared around the corner...I thought that the clothes did look a little tussled though...or maybe these virgins are extemely good at doing things midstride...regardless they were too fast for me and any hash flash incriminating photos...

We came on in and found the rest of the pack already on in...ended up there were more stories/versions of what true trail was than there are pollutants in the Hac Sa seawater. But all had a good time, and more importantly, all made it to the beer.

The other hare, Maid in Macau had secured us a table that hadn't been taken up by Guilopalooza and got us a BBQ set. Hasher Craig and Cindy scored a tasty bottle of Vino and were prepared for some copious amounts of drinking...and they came to the right place!

Circle was shortly thereafter called to order and the hares given multiple down downs for the green chalk among other things...

Pistiferous Zoxide pulled another one of his amazing Superman/Clark Kent changes from his hash gear into color cordinating circle wear (sadly non hash attaire though)

Nasiturd tried to give Jumping Balls a down down for throwing Ice at the cars earlier...Jumping Balls opted for Hash Snacks first

...and then promptly threw the down down on the ground as well (there was a common theme going on that day for him..., although in his defense, you can't get a down down more down then throwing it down...clever little wanker!)

The two virgins were brought in (multiple times!) where they were able to express their thoughts on the experience as well as learn (the hard way) rules of the hash such as mortal names, not wearing new shoes, etc...

I don't know what Nasi said, but it made Hasher Cindy turn aboust three shades of red...

Nasi then let Betty's Boobs know that she's had something jutting out in front of her the last 7 months...

And then we set Hasher Craig on fire as it seemed like a good idea at the time

A rare down down was given out by 008 to Pubic Plucker which evoked a reaction from the accused that would suggest that this was the first time her hash name was uttered by 008, she took her drink dutifully though, no word on the retribution that 008 incurred later for the transgression though :)

Nasi meanwhile raised a glass and danced a jig to the tune of "7 more days"...as in how many more days he had as GM

Hasher Steve then learned about the new shoe policy in which he swore it wasn't new and refused to drink out of it, so the accuser, myself Cunter Ass Thompson, had to drink from the shoe as it was claimed I was incorrect, but then I tell you what dear reader, that shoe tasted new to me...

Then having heard Nasi's earlier comment about not going down, Scooterbabe commited hash treason and turned in Nasiturd for new shoes and so the oft shoe pourer became the shoe drinker,

and it was good to the last drop...

Circle ended and the hares' prearranged BBQing went underway as night set in on Coloane. I definitely tip my hat to the hares for the BBQ idea, it was the perfect end to a hash.

Once everyone's bellies were filled and the thirst for Golden Nectar sated, we packed up and headed back North to home having had another terrific TMH3 Hash.

That's my version and I'm sticking to it...

ON - Vegas is giving 3 to 1 odds if we ever see the virgins again...especially after this write up :) - ON

-Cunter Ass Thompson