Hash 467 : 10.5.08 : A2B from Taipa Church

Hares: Nancy Boy; 008; Fishy Fingers       Scribe: Cunter Ass Thompson

Hey there boys and girls! Today's hashflatrash is brought to you by the letter H and the power (and spelling) of my two thumbs...

Without further ado, on to the tale of TMH3 Hash #467 - aka the Best
TMH3 Hash of the year!


The pack assembled in front of the old tiapa church in impressive
numbers, totalling out at just over 23 (a much better turnaround from
6 the previous week!). We even had some long (and LOOOOONG) time
backsliders come back to the fold and we couldn't of been happier to
see them (drink that is). We saw such shining faces as Rebecca,
Pianist, NYPD, Capn and Tinelle...errr...Pocahontas rather, hasher
Craig and hasher Candice (now having escaped the witness protection
program), and even Dragonfuerer came out (it's amazing how excited
some people are to finally get rid of St Peter!).

008 and Fishy Fingers, two parts of the hare trifecta, were already in
(008 looking suspiciously flithy), both having been cast aside by the
third hare, nancy boy who like a proud 4 year old said 'I can do it
all by myself!" (Or at least that was the hares' majority version).
Finally via hare telephone, Nancy Boy sent the walkers on off closely
followed by the runners. The walkers, being the bold lot they are,
scoffed at the hares' 3 meter wide RW split and decided that on such a
great day for hashing, there would be no walkers, or in other words,
after years of being screwed by the hare, the pack decided to screw
the hare, this made him oh so happy :).

So now with all the pack being like a Turtles' song and being So Happy
Together, they set off, around the stagnant, heron-laden, pond across
the street in front of the Venetion and then in what I believe to be
virgin trail, we ran up over the canal and hugged the venetian,
terrifying them all the way, I tried to soothe them by shouting "viva
italia!" quite boisterously, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as
they glared at us menancingly from their golf cart. We scooted across
the promenade and up the escalators where we found the lovely Captain
and Pocahontas trying to hide from the hash. Captain tried to hide
behind his camera but he could fight it no longer and he let out a
mighty ONON before him and pocahontas were hot on trail along with us.

We hopped down the escalator, noted that they still havn't finished
the rest of Cotai, so wew opted to follow trail north to the traffic
circle where the pack was stumped by the well laid check in front of
the gas station, hasher C&C (Craig and Candice or C&C Muisic Factory?)
Were the first to find the hares' YBF on the way to the watertank and
the pack had been following them like lemmings, the pack regrouped the
check and surveyed the land like a pack of meercats. Finally on on
was found headed north. Cunter hurdled the 7 lanes of fierce
(nonexistant) Macau traffic and found true trail continuing North
towards the airport before jumping the curb like a drunk driver and
crashing into the underbrush where the hares found a lovely tunnel to
take the pack through. On the other side of the tunnel, we humped
back up a hill made of suspiciously unstable looking slabs of
something that used to be made out of concrete before humping through
some psuedo constuction area and rejoining true trail back on the
sidewalk after a most enjoyable circle jerk.

Trail didn't stay on the sidewalk long as we took an immediate left
through the shubbery and were given a lovely 50 meter rock slope to
scramble up. (It should be noted that the hares admitted that the
last 10 meters of the slope had no flour, they figured if the pack
made it up this far, they could figure out their own way to the top :)

We popped out on the learning drivers hill up above and continued our
ascent up the hill to the foot of the Secret Garden aka The Garden
that Time Forgot aka The Lost World and having not been here since the
big 450, it had grown even more shiggy in anticipation our arrival.
Here Nancyboy marked trail with a combo of flour and his sweat wiped
on the passing leaves, it was a clear signal you were on trail.

At the top, we popped out at the weather observatory park where Cunter
confirmed that yes, that was a false trail that went all the way down
to the China Hotel and when he returned back up, Beer Queer, Colonic
and Nasi were ready to work out the three rapid checks before finding
true trail up and over the hill, and all the way around to the west
throguh the old trail with trees planted in the middle of it and
popping out above the small graveyard. True trail then wound its way
nicely through it, went under Tittyana's place (sadly no Tittyana
though, was funny she didn't even make a sound with 23 people under
her....we must be doing it wrong, or someone's not waving a towel or

We clipped through the serpentine trail from her parking lot, through
the junkyard to the Crown traffic circle where as I was (correctly)
closing out the check I heard a carhorn and thought someone was
admiring my derrier and I might have a date for the night, sadly it
was just Betty and Betty's Boobs. Who were autohashing on in with BB
having the much better excuse of being pregnant while betty only
claimed some four letter word called w-o-r-k. Now at this same check,
there was later a fair bit of the pack who decided that they were
smarter than Cunter Ass (and they're probably right) and ignored my
closed out check and autopiloted towards the Irish Bar. Nay my good
friend, the hares weren't done with us yet! True trail went NW out of
the crown traffic circle, around the triangle island and up the stairs
to the 3rd RW split of the day thqt took the runners up to a pagoda
then back to the trail, then to a 4th RW split and then up to the
shockingly flattened top of Taipa hill and it's construction (going to
have a hell of a good view whatever it is, presumably housing) we
swooped down, rejoined the walkers and continued looping around past
the triad apartments and both playgrounds until a devilish check that
the hares had true trail going down the stairs but the first mark
wasn't until the bottom of the stairs, wellplayed hares, well played.
Thankfully a few 50 meters after that it was the on in to a kicking
Bspot (that's B, not G you dirty minded wankers) where we saton the
Balcony, sipped TsingTao and listened to the sound of the hares'
cellphones ring as the pack called in after finding out that B was not
at the Irish. Cars were sent out on mercy missions ans hashers came
straggling in from all sides ina ll matters of conveyences. Hashers
C&C came in on true trail, gave the hares some dirty dirty looks and
disappeared in to the night deciding that the hares' livers couldn't
handle the down downs they had in store for them.

But not to worry for the rest of the pack made up for it as circle
started. The pack was subdued temporarily my the administering of two
healthy doses of Fiddle Faddle and Peanuts and then the downs downs
started flowing and every one was terrific and well deserved. I do
believe Nancyboy and his cohares got 1 or 2 of them (including 2 self
given down downs due to the beloved WOHDTAD rule)

Finally Mother Nature started spitting and splattering on us letting
us know that it was time to stop drinkinng so qe could go drink with
St Peter in the Irish Bar, but that is an entirely different story.

On - ow my thumbs, I'm headed to Beijing though to track down Cheesy,
what? He's in London?? Dammit! - On
-Cunter Ass Thompson